Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Just landed via Discord:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Just shared via Twitch:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Going viral on Discord:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Broadcasted on X:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Spotted on Reddit:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Just shared via Reddit:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Just landed via Instagram:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Working from home: where reality takes a vacation and your sanity follows suit. 🏝️😅 #LostInMyOwnHouse"

fun, games, grip, home, lose, reality, remote, remote work, telecommuting, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

0

2 months ago

beverage, drink, humor, irony, joke, little, need, put, umbrella, wet
Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

0

2 months ago

bad, calamari, comparison, ever, experiment, first time, food, food experiment, humor, joke, life, life joke, marriage, maybe, next, time, try, trying, trying food, unexpected, unexpected comparison
If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

0

2 months ago

airline, captain, class, first class, flight, humor, joke, travel, upgrade
I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

0

2 months ago

always, horrible, horrible stalker, humor, ID, joke, late, procrastination, stalker
Aura is the real business card.

0

2 months ago

aura, business, business card, card, confidence, first impression, impression, personality, professionalism, real
I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

0

2 months ago

anyone, anything, bedtime, casual, evening, going, humor, humor quote, joke, relaxed, sleep, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

17 shares on X this month:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

52 shares on Threads this month:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

36 shares on Threads this month:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

37 shares on Threads this month:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

30 shares on TikTok this month:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Just shared via X:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Going viral on X:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Spotted on X:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Just shared via Twitch:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Making waves on Threads:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Making waves on Telegram:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Breaking via YouTube:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Aura is the real business card.

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨