Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.