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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Going bananas on Twitch:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Making waves on WeChat:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

Going viral on Instagram:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Live now on Discord:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Making waves on X:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Making waves on Slack:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Just shared via YouTube:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Seen just now on WeChat:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Who knew downward dog could be rocking out to some old school beats? 🧘‍♂️💃 Break it down, yoga style! 🎵 #YogaBreakdanceRevolution"

breakdancing, exercise, fitness, humor, just, motion, movement, slow, slow motion, yoga

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

63 shares on X this month:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

89 shares on Slack this month:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Making waves on Twitch:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Spotted on TikTok:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Trending via Telegram:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Spotted on Messenger:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Trending via Slack:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨