Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.
  • Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.
  • Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.
  • Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.
  • Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”
  • The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!