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Commentary:
Sounds like this guy really doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to agreeing with his wife! 🙈🤣 It must be tough keeping score when you're running out of fingers to count on! 🤷‍♂️😂

agree, count, fingers, hand, humor, me, number, times, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

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2 months ago

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I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

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2 months ago

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Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

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2 months ago

3, accomplish, animation, brevity, comparison, entertainment, girl, girls, hours, humor, Marvel, minutes, movy, need, powerpuff, Powerpuff Girl, superhero, time, why
I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

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2 months ago

education, frustration, hate, humor, i, irony, know, put, question, school, teacher, work
Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

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2 months ago

analogy, cheese, food, held, humor, identity, just, lasagna, much, point, self-deprecation, together
You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

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2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Messenger this month:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

20 shares on Telegram this month:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

90 shares on Facebook this month:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Going viral on X:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Breaking via WeChat:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Shared recently on Reddit:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Just shared via Telegram:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Trending via Snapchat:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

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Activity Log ✨

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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