Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Life's way of reminding you that adulting is not for the faint of heart! 🏃‍♂️⏩👨‍👧‍👦 Embrace the chaos, because those problems aren't getting any slower!"

advice, away, faster, getting, humor, keep, kids, life, life advice, older, parenting, problems, running

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

0

2 months ago

am, existence, humor, i, philosophy, self-reflection, think
I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

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2 months ago

always, concern, cycle, friends, humor, i, media, mood, over, relationship, social, social media, tell, Tweets
You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

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6 months ago

else, humor, know, me, mysterious, mystery, self-reference, ways, work, works
Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

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2 months ago

animal, Booboo, boy, humor, name, nickname, owner, pet, pet name, Snoopy, thicky, Thicky Boy
Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

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2 months ago

barking, conversation, dog, enjoy, humor, job, luggage, maybe, misunderstanding, officer
By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

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4 months ago

40, again, age, age 40, body, body image, clothes, day, eternal, fashion, fit, humor, image, keep, optimism, should, size, size too small, small, too, wardrobe

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Messenger this month:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

11 shares on Slack this month:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

49 shares on Discord this month:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

83 shares on X this month:

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Live now on Telegram:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Just shared via TikTok:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Just shared via WeChat:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨