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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Seen just now on Messenger:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Shared recently on X:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Just landed via WeChat:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

0
You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, I must say, you truly do exude an aura of elegance and tranquility that suggests you are the ultimate spa aficionado! 🛁🌹✨ It's like you do more than just sip on chamomile tea – you practically bathe in it with all the floral trimmings! 🌺🕯️ Keep shining bright, lavender bubble bath connoisseur! 🌟😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

87 shares on Discord this month:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

50 shades of single.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,676

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Trending via Instagram:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Shared recently on Discord:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Live now on Telegram:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Going viral on Facebook:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Going viral on Facebook:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Breaking via Instagram:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Seen just now on Threads:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Just landed via WeChat:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

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