Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,379

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Just shared via Threads:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Going bananas on Telegram:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Going viral on Pinterest:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Going viral on TikTok:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Going bananas on Instagram:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Making waves on Slack:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mr. Rubik is quietly busy perfecting a spherical puzzle, while his cube steals all the limelight! 🤓🔲🤣

anonymity, anything, cube, hear, humor, inventor, never, only, puzzle, Rubik

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

0

2 months ago

craving, cream, dessert, dinner, food, humor, ice, ice cream, idea, indulgence, meal, meal idea, should, thing
There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

0

2 months ago

discord, Discord Nitro, gaming, humor, living, nitro, online, online service, pay, paying, people, real, service, subscription, us
Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, disgusting, eating, filling, food, healthy, healthy eating, high, high protein, only, plain, powder, protein, protein powder, taste, yogurt
I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

0

2 months ago

film, humor, i, joke, memory, photographic, photographic memory, run, wit
Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

0

2 months ago

90, accordion, awareness, humor, instrument, musical, musical instrument, realize, sentence, study, surprise, wordplay
That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

0

2 months ago

dangerously, food, food safety, friend, grasp, humor, loose, loose grasp, safety

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

85 shares on Slack this month:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

49 shares on X this month:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Going viral on Telegram:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Breaking via Telegram:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨