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Commentary:
"Trying to stealthily release a morning toot in the toilet is like pulling off a secret mission 🕵️‍♂️, only to have the toilet amplify your efforts into a grand symphony fit for Middle-earth 🎺🚽 #HornOfGondor"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

1 month ago
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Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

1 month ago
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“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

4 weeks ago
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A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

4 weeks ago
better, competition, cycling, cyclist, faster, humor, i, me, run, shark, speed, swim, triathlon
The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

1 month ago
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My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

1 week ago
Christmas, Christmas light, holiday, hours, humor, just, light, lights, me, OnlyFans, untangling

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

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Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Half princess, half menace.

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Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

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Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Trending via TikTok:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Going bananas on Slack:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Just landed via TikTok:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

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You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If love is the answer then what was the question?

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

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You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

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