You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.