Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Trying to stealthily release a morning toot in the toilet is like pulling off a secret mission 🕵️‍♂️, only to have the toilet amplify your efforts into a grand symphony fit for Middle-earth 🎺🚽 #HornOfGondor"

acoustics, bowl, fart, Gondor, horn, house, humor, morning, noise, struggle, thanks, toilet, try, waking, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

0

5 months ago

conversation, got, humor, i, know, left, people, person, talking, tap, time, video, while, wish
They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

0

2 months ago

humor, money, problems, sarcasm, solve, wealth
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

0

2 months ago

advice, humor, laughter, life, positivity, short, short life, smile, still, teeth
Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

0

2 months ago

black, Black Friday, chaos, clocked, consumerism, Friday, heart, humor, i, sales, shopping, someone, used, Wii
Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

0

5 months ago

airport, car, caught, company, customer, customer service, frustration, guard, hand, humor, job, me, rental, rental car, rental company, reservation, sarcasm, service, show, sorry, wait, wanted
I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, bedtime, forward, hours, humor, insomnia, irony, looking, rest, sleep, thinking, tonight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on X this month:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

55 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Just landed via Twitch:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Seen just now on YouTube:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Going viral on Twitch:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Breaking via TikTok:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Just shared via Discord:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨