Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2035 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,197

Funny Quotes Topics

14,953

Funny Quotes Images

12,197

1 minute ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Spotted on WeChat:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Just landed via Messenger:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Just shared via Facebook:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Seen just now on Threads:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Going viral on Twitch:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Making waves on Telegram:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Seen just now on Discord:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Live now on YouTube:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

6 months ago

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣👶 "Your child learning to say mommy is like entering a new dimension where you are both the superhero and the sidekick in your own hilarious little sitcom! Get ready for the rollercoaster ride of emotions and the endless loop of 'mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy…' – buckle up, it's gonna be a wild (and adorable) journey! 🎢😆"

beginning, child, ending, humor, learning, life, mommy, parenting, say

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2035 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,197

Funny Quotes Topics

14,953

Funny Quotes Images

12,197

1 minute ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Trending via Reddit:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Spotted on Discord:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Just landed via Slack:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Reported on WhatsApp:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

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