Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Making waves on WeChat:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Live now on TikTok:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Breaking via Discord:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Trending via Slack:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Trending via Messenger:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Making waves on Slack:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

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Commentary:
"Who needs to act when you're already naturally weird? 🤪 #JustBeingMyself"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I will never stop being a quitter!

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

25 shares on Twitch this month:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

56 shares on X this month:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,368

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Going viral on Telegram:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Spotted on Messenger:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Making waves on Messenger:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

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