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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

4,078

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Just landed via Snapchat:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Shared recently on Slack:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Just shared via Reddit:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

2 months ago

0

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like you're taking the "speak now or forever hold your peace" part quite literally! Who needs direct messages when you have Taylor Swift blaring through the neighborhood? That's some next-level dedication to getting someone's attention – with a touch of musical finesse.

DM, funny situation, music, outdoor, outside, romance, situation, speaker, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, window

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

0

5 months ago

destruction, knows, metaphor, nature, rage, storm
Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

0

4 months ago

comeback, homeless, homeless man, house, house key, humor, i, insult, interaction, irony, just, key, keys, loser, man, me, social, social interaction
We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

0

2 months ago

coworker, expectancy, humor, life, life expectancy, office, office life, purpose, stress, ten, workplace, workplace humor, workplace stress
A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

0

5 months ago

dreamy, fantasy, girl, me, self-confidence, should, sitting, sky, star, whimsical
“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

0

2 months ago

chores, dishwasher, domestic, domestic life, humor, i, job, just, life, marriage, responsibility, right, wife
What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

0

5 months ago

able, around, before, being, eyeglass, eyesight, half, history, humor, just, observation, people, question, vision, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Men are very good at being women lately.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,869

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Trending via Threads:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Just landed via Facebook:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Shared recently on Discord:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Going bananas on Slack:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Just landed via Facebook:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Breaking via Messenger:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

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