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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

11 minutes ago

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Making waves on Messenger:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Shared recently on Slack:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Making waves on TikTok:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Reported on Slack:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Making waves on Discord:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Just landed via Slack:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

6 months ago

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the glamorous world of your 40s where wild Saturday nights have been replaced by cozy bedtimes at a reasonable hour. 🌙 Embrace the beauty of uninterrupted sleep and dream about all the parties you once attended…or not, who has the energy for that anyway? 😄 #PartyAnimalTurnedSleepingBeauty"

40s, age, bed, humor, know, life, means, night, nothing, reality, Saturday, weekend, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

11 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Shared recently on Discord:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Going viral on Telegram:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Just shared via YouTube:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Live now on Instagram:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Just landed via TikTok:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Breaking via Instagram:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

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