Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.
  • If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.
  • I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.
  • What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?
  • The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.
  • Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.