Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.
  • Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.
  • If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?
  • I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.
  • Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?
  • If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.