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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

26 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Just shared via Reddit:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Just shared via YouTube:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Just landed via Twitch:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Seen just now on Discord:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Trending via LinkedIn:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Just landed via WeChat:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Breaking via Slack:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

6 months ago

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

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Commentary:
"Looks like the secret to job security is intentionally terrible writing! 🤖💻 Embrace the typos, jumbled sentences, and nonsensical ramblings – your livelihood might just depend on it! Who knew that a mess of words could be your ticket to career longevity? 😂 #BadWritingChampion"

AI, bad, bad writing, bit, doing, employment, humor, irony, job, job security, save, security, should, technology, training, want, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

26 minutes ago

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Trending via Snapchat:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Live now on Snapchat:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Just shared via Reddit:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Going viral on Slack:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Reported on Pinterest:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

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