I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

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If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

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I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

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Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

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I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

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Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.