I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

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What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

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Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

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I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

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What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

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I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

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Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”