Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.