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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

18 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,725

Funny Quotes Topics

15,374

Funny Quotes Images

12,725

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Seen just now on X:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Spotted on Instagram:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Just shared via Reddit:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Spotted on X:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
📱 "Oh, cell phone, you sly little device! Ignored calls sound much better than missed calls, don't they? It's all about perspective, right? 😅 Maybe they should invent a 'Sorry, I'm avoiding you' button for those times we just need some space. 🙊"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

18 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,725

Funny Quotes Topics

15,374

Funny Quotes Images

12,725

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,461

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Making waves on Facebook:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Going viral on Facebook:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Just shared via Slack:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Going viral on X:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Trending via YouTube:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Freshly posted on Threads:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Just shared via Telegram:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

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