My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.