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If you call me from a private number, Iโ€™ll respect your privacy and wonโ€™t answer.

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Introverts have fun, too โ€” we just don’t care if you know.

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I only drink when I people.

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Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

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Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

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The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

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Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

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You can pronounce it โ€œNude Jerseyโ€ and no one will know.

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Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

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Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

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When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal conundrum of cat behavior! ๐Ÿฑ Is it a daring leap of faith like a first cat life, or a reckless daredevil act like a ninth cat life? The line between curiosity and catastrophe is as thin as a hairball on a tightrope! ๐Ÿ˜…"



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Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

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Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

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Itโ€™s okay, facial recognition. I donโ€™t recognize myself anymore either.

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Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

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Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate whatโ€™s really important in life, so Iโ€™m back online.

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Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

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Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

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I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

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Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

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I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.