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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Shared recently on Messenger:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Reported on WeChat:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Just landed via Twitch:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Trending via Instagram:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Feeling ignored and unloved? Fear not, for there is always laundry waiting to embrace you with open arms…err, hangers! 🧺✨ Who needs human relationships when you have a trusty pile of clothes to fold, right? 😅 #LaundryIsBae"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I probably think this song is about me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Going viral on Messenger:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Shared recently on Slack:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Spotted on Telegram:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Seen just now on Threads:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

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