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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Trending via Telegram:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Live now on Snapchat:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Making waves on TikTok:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Breaking via WeChat:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Trending via Slack:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.
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Commentary:
Oh, how we wish real life had a little more Disney magic! 🎶💃 Adulting would be a breeze if we could just break into a spontaneous musical number to solve our problems. 🧞‍♂️✨ But alas, the bills won't pay themselves no matter how catchy our tunes are! 🎵💸 Keep dreaming, maybe one day our problems will have a soundtrack too! 🎤🌟

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Trending via Twitch:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Reported on Messenger:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Trending via Slack:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Just shared via Discord:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Breaking via Facebook:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

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