Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I have the bruises of a much more active person.
  • Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?
  • I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.
  • I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.
  • This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.
  • The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.