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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

40 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Trending via Discord:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Breaking via Snapchat:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Spotted on WeChat:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Breaking via YouTube:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Making waves on Instagram:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

6 months ago

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

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Commentary:
Ah, the ancient Starbucks ritual of summoning the barista's creativity with a perplexing order 😄🔮 It's like a caffeinated incantation meant to bring forth the ultimate fusion of flavors in a cup! Just remember to add a side of magical sprinkles and a pinch of unicorn dust for good measure! 🦄☕✨

barista, coffee, drink, foam, grande, hexagon, humor, hypothesis, i, ice, iced, iced mocha, just, mocha, no foam, order, people, random, random words, say, Starbucks, swear, vortex, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

40 minutes ago

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Live now on TikTok:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Going viral on Facebook:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Reported on Slack:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Spotted on WeChat:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

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