Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.
  • Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.
  • As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.
  • I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.
  • If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.
  • Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.