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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2321 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,483

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,483

20 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Going viral on Messenger:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Spotted on Snapchat:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Trending via TikTok:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Making waves on Threads:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

6 months ago

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, if you think about it, baby seagulls are basically the ninjas of the bird world. 🐦🥋 Always flying under the radar and staying out of sight until they're ready to take over the world – or at least the beach! 😆 So, remember, next time you see a seagull, you might just be looking at a seasoned veteran! ⚔️ #BirdLifeMysteries

baby, baby seagull, bigger, bigger problems, funny thought, humor, i, just, know, nature, never, observation, problems, realization, right, seagull, seen, thought, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2321 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,483

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,483

20 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Going viral on TikTok:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Just landed via X:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Trending via Snapchat:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Shared recently on Discord:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Just shared via YouTube:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Going viral on Discord:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

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