If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Commentary:
“Who needs a boring salad when you can have a ‘salad on crust’ with extra cheese for that touch of irony? 🥗🍕 #PizzaIsMyKindOfSalad”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the good old days when asking for directions led to friendly banter and getting lost! Now with Google, finding answers is like asking your unhelpful friend who claims they know everything but ends up just as clueless 🤷‍♂️🔍.

  • I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing.  That will really spice up my autobiography.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like the author is making some unpredictable twists and turns in their autobiography! 📚💥 Who knew writing could be such a dramatic *murderous* affair? 😄 #PlotTwist #AuthorsLife”

  • I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

    Commentary:
    “I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the horror of trying to hide your TikTok dances from your parents! 💃👨‍👩‍👧🙈”

  • Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

    Commentary:
    🚦🚶 “Welcome to downtown – where the crosswalk signals play a friendly game of ‘suggestions only’ and you navigate through puddles hoping they’re not secretly plotting to be giant pits of doom!” ☔️💦

  • Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the struggle is real for all of us non-teleporters out here 🚫🌀 Just imagine the savings on gas, the joy of avoiding rush hour traffic, and the satisfaction of instantly appearing wherever you want like a boss 😂 Who needs teleportation when you’ve got patience, right? 😉 #TeleportationWoes

  • They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the struggles of forbidden desires! 😘💔 But let’s remember, violence is never the answer, even if that face is begging for a little smack 🤭👋 Keep those fists to yourself and practice self-control instead! 🧘‍♂️✨”