Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Dec 24, 2025

3,954

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Trending via Threads:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Trending via Reddit:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Just landed via Instagram:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Just shared via TikTok:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Just shared via Twitch:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Spotted on Discord:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

2 months ago

0

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I must have missed that software update… 🚗⚠️ Maybe I should trade in this model for a newer, more reliable model! 😅💡"

age, body, check, check engine light, engine, health, humor, light, maintenance, self-deprecation, year’s

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

0

2 months ago

communication, ever, humor, life, person, relationship, rest, saying, someone, spend, think
Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

0

2 months ago

being, castle, every, goldfish, humor, life, live, perspective, simplicity, six, surprise
Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

0

2 months ago

asked, doing, favorite, hobby, humor, i, laziness, leisure, me, nothing, relaxation, self-reflection, someone
God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

0

2 months ago

dating, God, humor, love, patience, relationship, soulmate, tracking, wish
Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

0

2 months ago

ability, asleep, fall, humor, moving, nap, never, sleep, travel, underestimate, vehicle
I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, bed, chicken, humor, i, night, rotisserie, sleep, toss, turn

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

83 shares on Slack this month:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

35 shares on Telegram this month:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

72 shares on Threads this month:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The only men you can trust is ramen.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,955

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Just landed via TikTok:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Making waves on Discord:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Going viral on Twitch:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

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