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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 15, 2026

3,476

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Going bananas on WeChat:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Spotted on Facebook:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Just landed via YouTube:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I must have missed that software update… 🚗⚠️ Maybe I should trade in this model for a newer, more reliable model! 😅💡"

age, body, check, check engine light, engine, health, humor, light, maintenance, self-deprecation, year’s

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

2 months ago

block, breakup, empowerment, ex, girl, humor, moon, relationship, sun
I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

5 months ago

car, flying, flying car, humor, i, single, skepticism, technology, transportation, trust
Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

2 months ago

before, biblical, biblical loophole, dog, doggy, doggy style, dogs, follow, heaven, humor, joke, loophole, marriage, me, sex, sin, style
If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

2 months ago

English, ever, humor, irony, just, language, lead, read, remember, rhyme, think, weird, wordplay
Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

2 months ago

athlete, athletes, blame, credit, God, humor, irony, lose, sports, talent, win
Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

6 months ago

Asian, Asian parent, cultural, cultural stereotype, focus, give, humor, name, names, parent, parents, stereotype, study

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

22 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

83 shares on Slack this month:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

11 shares on TikTok this month:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

66 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

24 shares on Slack this month:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Drive like no one is watching.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email kills us both.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 15, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Just shared via TikTok:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Going viral on WeChat:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Trending via LinkedIn:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Just shared via Discord:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Going viral on Slack:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Breaking via Instagram:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

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