People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.