Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.
  • If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.
  • “This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.
  • Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.
  • I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.
  • When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.