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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

12 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Going viral on TikTok:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Live now on Instagram:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Just shared via YouTube:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Just shared via Facebook:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Going viral on WeChat:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Making waves on Instagram:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

4 months ago

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

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Commentary:
Oh, the eternal struggle between the love for relaxation and the dread of the treadmill! 🏃‍♂️💭 It's like the gym equipment is in a long-term relationship with dust rather than us. 😂 Who knew that our commitment to lounging on the couch could be so unwavering! 🛋️💪 Just think of the calorie-burning potential we could achieve if Netflix had a workout integration feature! 📺🏋️‍♀

exercise, exercising, fitness, humor, i, laziness, love, much, not exercising, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

12 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Seen just now on YouTube:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Shared recently on Slack:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Making waves on TikTok:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Spotted on Messenger:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Spotted on TikTok:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Spotted on Threads:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

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