The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Commentary:
Well, it sounds like you’re the true CEO (Coolness Enhancing Officer) at your workplace! 💰😎 Keep shining bright like a diamond… or should I say, like a paycheck! 💎💸 #CoolCatBoss

, , , , , , ,
New funny quotes →
Follow us on X →
Follow us on Facebook →
Follow us on Pinterest →

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

    Commentary:
    “Sending off the orange with big expectations for its day at school! 🍊📚 May it avoid getting ‘squished’ in the lunchbox drama. See you later, citrus friend! 😄 #SchoolLunchAdventures”

  • Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

    Commentary:
    “In case you were wondering, staring at the sun is the new brunch… 🌞 Get your daily dose of vitamin D and a side of temporary blindness! 🕶️😎 Remember, squint now, thank yourself later! 😜 #SunshineJunkie”

  • If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

    Commentary:
    “Surviving without starring in a murder documentary? That’s an achievement to celebrate! 🕵️‍♂️🔪💼 Just another reminder that your life is drama-free… well, at least of the crime scene kind! 😅👏”

  • The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the eternal conflict between seeking peace and courting adventure! 🌊🌙 Living in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory sounds like the perfect mix of tranquility and suspense. Who needs a cozy beach cottage when you can have a haunted mansion by the sea? Ghostly neighbors and mysterious sea monsters included! 👻🏝 #SpookyScenicViews

  • Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

    Commentary:
    “Triathletes are just overachievers looking for an excuse to wear spandex in public 🏊‍♂️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♂️ Who needs one sport when you can struggle through three, am I right? 😅 #TriathlonTorture”

  • Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the beauty of sleeping – the closest you can get to being dead without the commitment! 💤😂 It’s like hitting the pause button on life, but without the consequences. Win-win indeed! 😴👍”