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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

51 minutes ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Just shared via Slack:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I would prefer not to.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Trending via Threads:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Just shared via TikTok:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

3 months ago

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

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Commentary:
Ah, modern dating – where we play a game of 'spot the red flag' and hope for the best 🚩🤔 It's like choosing between a bouquet of red flags, hoping for a rose amongst the thorns! 🌹😂 Remember, sometimes the red flags are just waving at you, not warning you! 🚩🚩🚩 #DatingDilemmas

advice, choice, dating, dating advice, expectations, flag, humor, modern, modern dating, red, red flag, relationship, tolerate

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

51 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Shared recently on YouTube:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Just shared via Facebook:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Seen just now on Slack:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Just shared via Discord:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

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