Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.