My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.