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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.
  • How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.
  • Waffles are just pancakes with abs.
  • The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.
  • Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”
  • My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.