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Heโ€™s making a list, heโ€™s checking it twice, heโ€™s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

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Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

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Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

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In a parallel universe, thereโ€™s a happy me.

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No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when sheโ€™s done.

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When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what youโ€™re really saying is โ€œIโ€™m not going to dust for at least a month.โ€

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If you call me from a private number, Iโ€™ll respect your privacy and wonโ€™t answer.

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People believe that they have brains but maybe thatโ€™s just inside their heads.

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Might make a living will because I donโ€™t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

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Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, โ€œSCOOT OVER, COW!โ€ like itโ€™ll change the ending.

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“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Commentary:
"๐Ÿ˜‚ AI can take my job, but can it handle my caffeine-induced anxiety? I doubt it! โ˜•๐Ÿค–๐Ÿ’ฅ"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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