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I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

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Calling someone a โ€œtough cookieโ€ isnโ€™t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

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I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

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People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

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My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

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AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

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My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

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Your honor, my client doesnโ€™t like jail.

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Meteorologist: Itโ€™s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

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Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

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Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

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"Who knew dreams would come true and battery life would still be the ultimate nemesis? ๐Ÿ“ฑ๐Ÿ”‹๐Ÿ˜‚"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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