I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.