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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has copied:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, β€œI hope there are no emergencies.”

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has shared:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has shared:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has shared:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

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767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

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13,901

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10,929

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3,427

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on Twitch:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Shared recently on YouTube:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Breaking via Threads:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Making waves on Discord:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.
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Commentary:
"Fashion tip of the day: Pet hair is the new black! πŸΎπŸ–€πŸ€£"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has copied:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has shared:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡² has copied:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with β€œJust so I understand …”

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has copied:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Twitch:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Spotted on Reddit:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Trending via Telegram:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Just shared via Discord:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Reported on YouTube:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Spotted on Telegram:

Time needs a speed limit.

Trending via Discord:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Spotted on Twitch:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

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