I love hard, but I stupid harder.

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Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

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I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

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Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

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“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

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Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

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Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”