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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has bookmarked:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

Iโ€™m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2387 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,549

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,549

Updated

49 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Messenger:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Reported on Messenger:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Seen just now on Twitch:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said Iโ€™m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Just landed via WeChat:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Just landed via WeChat:

I get writerโ€™s block responding to people.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someoneโ€™s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but Iโ€™m still going home.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Going viral on Instagram:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.
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Commentary:
I was hoping to ask them about their departure, exit satisfaction, and if they'd like more cat memes in the future! ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ“‰

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2387 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,549

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,549

Updated

49 minutes ago

Users Online

3,466

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

If my TVโ€™s so smart then why doesnโ€™t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Bought a house plant so I wouldnโ€™t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ถ has copied:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has downloaded:

Roman soldiers are all like โ€œIโ€™m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via YouTube:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Trending via Pinterest:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Spotted on Discord:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokรฉmon.

Trending via Messenger:

If you canโ€™t say anything nice, donโ€™t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Breaking via Messenger:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone thatโ€™s in a bad mood.

Shared recently on Twitch:

After an hour on this team meeting Iโ€™m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Just shared via WeChat:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional womenโ€™s sport.

Spreading quickly via X:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

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