Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

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Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

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I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

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I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

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Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

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If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

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Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

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My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

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If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.