If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.