I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.