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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has copied:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has bookmarked:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug, but you’re not gonna like the performance.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

1954 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,116

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14,886

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12,116

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3,448

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Threads:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Making waves on Telegram:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Live now on Slack:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

What if your dog one day just randomly said β€œNobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Trending via X:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.
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Sounds like you're just one closet away from a chore-lympics event! πŸ§ΊπŸ‘•πŸ˜‚

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

1954 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,116

Funny Quotes Topics

14,886

Funny Quotes Images

12,116

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has bookmarked:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has shared:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has shared:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has copied:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro β€” it’s not personal.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has downloaded:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Reddit:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Breaking via Messenger:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Live now on YouTube:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Spotted on Reddit:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Spotted on Telegram:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question β€˜how much could juice cost?’

Just landed via Slack:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

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