Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didnโ€™t respond. Are you mad at me?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has shared:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has copied:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% โ€œooohh, this one has a pretty label.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

Itโ€™s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has shared:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Iโ€™m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,225

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

16 hours ago

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Threads:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Just landed via YouTube:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Going viral on TikTok:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro โ€” itโ€™s not personal.

Going viral on X:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Trending via LinkedIn:

โ€œApple Music has better sound quality!โ€ Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Just landed via Instagram:

Watching Jaws with my kid because Iโ€™m sick of going to the beach.

Seen just now on X:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Trending via WeChat:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
Trying out reverse body art: sketch me back to life! ๐Ÿ–๏ธโœจ๐Ÿ”„

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Funny Quotes ๐Ÿค

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

Hot Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ”ฅ

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,225

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

16 hours ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

AI wonโ€™t replace me because Iโ€™m already useless to society.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said โ€œless McDonaldโ€™sโ€, but Iโ€™m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ต has downloaded:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Oh, youโ€™re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Trending via Instagram:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Spotted on Discord:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Reported on TikTok:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Seen just now on Messenger:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Itโ€™s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Trending via Threads:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Spotted on YouTube:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Just landed via Messenger:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Share Wordgag ๐Ÿ™

ยฉ 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with โค๏ธ in Sydney โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒด