Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.
  • I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.
  • I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”
  • “Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.
  • Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.
  • Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.